Monday, July 25, 2005

"No law at all in Deadwood — is that right?"

alswearengenFrom today's White House press briefing, with the role of Scott McClellan being played by TV's Ian McShane:

Q Last Thursday the White House threatened to veto the defense bill if it includes standards for the humane treatment of prisoners, drafted by Republican Senator John McCain. And also on Thursday the Pentagon refused to comply with a court order to release photos and videos of prisoner abuse in Iraq. Don't these documented cases of abuse suggest that the U.S. military should adopt higher standards for the humane treatment of prisoners?

MR. McCLELLAN: A couple of fucking things here — and just so you understand that I appreciate the gravity of your fucking question, booze and pussy are free for the next hour. Now, out of a keen sense of courtesy, we did put out a position paper that is available for you cocksuckers to look at, talking about some of our concerns when it comes to the defense authorization bill that the Senate is moving forward on. We certainly would have concerns if there are amendments that would interfere with the President's ability to effectively conduct the global war on these cocksucking terrorists. And some of these fucking hoopleheads have suggested amendments that we believe might be unnecessary or duplicative. We want to make sure that there is nothing that restricts the President's authority to be able to do what he needs to do to protect the American people and prevent attacks from happening in the first place, and bring to justice those cocksuckers who seek to murder these stupid, innocent fucks.

Now, in terms of issues relating to allegations of abuse of these cocksucking detainees, this administration has taken those allegations very seriously. That's why we have moved forward to hold cocksuckers accountable, and we have made sure that justice is served to those who were involved in any wrongdoing. But there are laws and treaty obligations that are in place and that we follow. And the Department of Defense has made it very clear that when it comes to detainees, that they treat them in a humane fashion, by slitting their fucking throats and feeding them to Wu's pigs.

Now get the fuck out of my office.