Brilliant. I'm now the number one hit for people seeking information on albino fetishes. This makes me feel good about myself, especially after receiving the latest round of reader comments on a journal article I submitted a while back:
I think the opening paragraph is fairly lame, and would suggest beginning with the second paragraph, though even here the formulation "mostly reversed narrative style" is surprisingly inept, I find. Some other points I find very vague and almost incomprehensible: "At no point in the novel . . . etc." (this sentence beginning on p. 5). Careful copyediting overall will be needed (e.g., final periods in indented quotations--MLA; the sentence on p. 9 that ends "where the Soviet nuclear" -- up 6 from bottom; "wow they felt" --p. 13, middle; a couple other typos).I just fucking love receiving vague and incomprehensible suggestions on how to address my vagueness and incomprehensibility.
I'm going to drink one of these now. We'll fucking see how vague and incomprehensible I can be.
"fairly lame?" what, did you egg this reviewer's car at some point? perhaps you should.
ReplyDeleteThis same reviewer pounded me for the same thing when I first submitted it. There's just no pleasing some folks.
ReplyDeleteHave you tried sending this reviewer a bottle of MD 20/20? Now THAT's a crowd pleaser!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE anonymous reviews. They "embolden" people to be fairly lame.
ReplyDeleteMy all time favorite was being told my writing was "cold-blooded."
Another person accused me of sloppiness (some of which was warranted) but then turned around and attacked me for getting Derrida wrong, when in fact, I had quoted him directly and correctly. When tearing someone a new asshole, it is always best not to commit the identical sin for which you are carrying out the anal duplication. Just a thought.
Oh, and then another reviewer called my writing autistic. Now, I found out later, when complaining to the editor of unprofessionalism, that this guy (it was a guy it turns out) has two autistic children. The editor strangely, defensively said that the reviewer must have meant something more specific and technical about autism. OK, so he meant my writing was autistic in a "good" way? I am not sure what to make of it, but what kind of parent with autistic children uses autism as an insult in an anonymous review? I am just asking here. I suppose he knows best, but honestly. At least for you kids sake, don't compare them to me. I mean that is just inkind to the kids.
Excuse me, "unkind to the kids."
ReplyDeleteHoly crap! What's next?
ReplyDeleteReviewer: Your writing seems kind of homosexual to me.
Author: That's a bit unprofessional, don't you think?
Editor: Oh, that's ok -- his kids are all gay. He must have meant something specific and technical about being homosexual.
Reviewer: Okay, let me rephrase -- when I said, your writing seems kind of homosexual, what I meant was that you write like a black man.
Author: Wow, that's just over the line.
Editor: It's okay -- some of his best friends are black.
Well the autistic laugh was on him, because I got the piece accepted and it ended up being the lead article. I felt all warm all over, in a kind black homosexual way, of course.
ReplyDelete