Sunday, March 27, 2005


So very, very sleepy...

Ever wonder what Easter looks like to an American living in Warsaw? Sure you have! As Brother Dan explains:
In Poland we have reached day three of the Easterpalooza and as you can see, the excitement and chaos are taking its toll on some of those involved.  In terms of sacrifice in the eyes of God, you have several levels of acts that can be undertaken.  Falling just a few spots below martyrdom and hunger strikes lies the under-appreciated glugging of the sacramental liter of potato vodka.  Our fallen brother pictured here took one for Christ's team this morning, showing the kind of commitment that few Christians nowadays can lay claim to.  For this, we salute you.

After getting your fill of sacramental vodka, its time to rehydrate yourself with some holy water.

This was the scene as I entered a church in downtown Warsaw earlier today. You are greeted with your usual collection stations so the desperately poor Catholic Church can take some more of your money; on special occassions such as the resurrection of Christ, you are also asked to give some money so you can have your very own little handy-dandy bottle of holy-water. It's useful for whatever holy needs you may have during the day — e.g., cuts, infidelity, pedophilia or even the occassional Satatnic possession. You can always count on pure Catholic Holy Water.

After picking up your personal bottle of holy water there are three more things to be done at the church before leaving. 

  • Bless Your Eggs.

    Everyone brings their Easter basket to get some of their easter breakfast food blessed.  Differing greatly from my childhood tradition that was filled with Cadburry Eggs, Peeps and chocolate bunnies, people in Poland fill their baskets with kielbasa, chleb (bread) and jajko (eggs) and have them blessed by one of the holy men at the church. They call these miracle workers "Priests."
  • Confess Your Sins.

    Step into a very private and discrete meeting room with another Priest and recount all of the dirty little things that you've done in the last year.  That was always one of the more fascinating aspects of Catholicism: You can do whatever the fuck you want, tell a priest, do some Hail Marys and clear your conscience.  I didn't get a picture of the whole scene, but there were about 4 different confession stations to choose from, all of which had a line about 25 people deep. 
  • Give a big shout-out to JC. Last on the agenda is giving JC mad crazy props for dying for our sins.  Each Church sets up a mock grave site to re-create his death.  My inside sources tell me that this version [see photo at top] is pretty tame.

  • See this and more at Air Polonia — bringing you the culture shock of a vegetarian pacifist living in an Eastern Europe. As the American president reminds us, Don't forget Poland!