Scenes from Terri's Revolution, Part IV
Circumstances in Florida took a turn for the truly bizarre today, as the violence and looting outside Woodside Hospice were momentarily calmed by sexually-explicit pop music sensation Prince, who brought his bandmates — "The Revolution" — to lend his assistance to Terri's Revolution. The Purple One, caressing his groin and sucking on one of his own fingers, arrived outside the hospice center to give an impromptu, soulful, a capella performance of several of his greatest hits. "I believe I speak for all of us," Prince softly and uncharismatically explained to the assembled faithful, "when I say that I'm not a woman — I'm not a man. I am something that you'll never understand. I'll never beat u, I'll never lie, and if you're evil — like those awful, awful judges — I'll forgive u by and by. U, Terri - I would die 4 u, yeah. Darling if u want me 2 . . . ."
Laying down their brickbats and muskets, the crowd swayed approvingly for a few quiet moments before the orgy of desctruction resumed.
