Friday, May 27, 2005

Presidential Speech, K-Tel Edition


Morituri te salutant!

It's good to know those campaign stump speeches are still coming in handy for the president. Here he is waxing eloquent at the Naval graduation today, stitching together some of his favorite rockin' phrases from pointless speeches of days gone by:
Our nation is pursuing a clear strategy for the war on terror: We're using every available tool to disrupt terrorists and their organizations. We are taking the fight to the enemy abroad so we do not have to face them here at home. (Applause.) We're denying the terrorists sanctuary, and making clear that America will not tolerate outlaw regimes that provide safe haven and support to terrorists. We're using all elements of national power to deny terrorists the chemical, biological and nuclear weapons they seek. We will not allow mass murderers to gain access to the tools of mass destruction. And we're stopping terrorists from achieving their ideological victories they seek, by working to spread the hope of freedom and reform across the broader Middle East. We understand that free nations do not support terrorists or invade their neighbors. We understand to make the world more peaceful and our country more secure, we will advance the cause of liberty.
Ah, the memories. Who can forget the sweet, soft-rock sound of the Bush administration's worldwide hit, "Clear Strategy"? You'll groove to that funky, bootie-shaking vibe as the president belts out his wartime classics, "Outlaw Regimes" and "Taking the Fight to the Enemy". Stand proud with the president and sing along to the anthemic "Cause of Liberty", "Hope of Freedom" and "Tools of Mass Destruction". That's not a funeral dirge you hear — that's the sound of Freedom on the march! Load up your iPods, kids, hop on your mountain bikes, and let the good times roll!