Thursday, July 14, 2005

He Gives New Meaning to the Concept of a "Push Poll"

SenatorM9KENICropThanks to Ohio's stratospheric corruption, the near-universally loathed governor of Alaska, Frank Murkowski, is somehow not the least popular chief executive in the nation. (You can find the new state by state poll numbers here.) With a 31% approval rating, Murkowski stands out as one of the worst governors under whose rule I've had the misfortune to live. This includes the years I spent writing my dissertation in Minnesota, greeting each day with a newfound bafflement that Jesse Ventura was in charge. I won't bore you with the details about Murkowski, except to note that the governor's mansion — which sits about a mile from my house — has become a popular destination for local hounds in need of a good morning bowel clearing. Too many times to count, we've driven by the rather modest estate and witnessed a disgruntled canine hunched over in mid-act, legs twitching with sweet anticipation, squintingly depositing on the front lawn a little steaming metaphor for the governor's political future. 9771_500Indeed, our governor has become so closely associated with dog shit in the state's political unconscious that some enterprising local dissenters have taken to planting tiny flags — each bearing a picture of Murkowski's goofy, flabby face — in the little mounds of egesta that adorn our 200 miles of hiking trails. Evidently, the local Fourth of July parade in Juneau even included a giant float resembling one of these organic monuments. (On a not-unrelated note, the parade also featured a "Logging is Good" float that urged people not to buy recycled toilet paper because — and the phrase "No, I'm not fucking with you" comes to mind here — recycled toilet paper has been used before. As the float's creator described it, "We want people to have new stuff. New wood, so new trees are cut.")