Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The Terrorists Are Right To Hate Our Freedom


(image purloined from Artsmear)

Rob at Lawyers, Guns and Money recoils in slack-jawed horror as Burger King unveils its newest "fried chicken delivery system," the Chicken Fry. It's at least refreshing to see that the fast food companies are announcing -- quite directly and unambiguously in this case -- their intention to kill us all. No further evidence is required than Burger King's other new iteration, the "Meat'Normous" breakfast sandwich, described thusly by the Houston Chronicle:
Here's the blueprint for the Meat'normous Omelet Sandwich: two eggs, a sausage patty, two slices of smoky ham, three slices of bacon and two slices of American cheese on a specialty toasted bun.

Any way you slice it, that's a lot of meat.

Total calories: 770; fat: 47 grams; dietary fiber: 3 grams; carbs: 45 grams. Manufacturer's suggested retail price: $3.49.

Basically, the Meat'normous Omelet Sandwich is two ham slices and 40 calories bigger 'n' better than the Enormous Omelet Sandwich.

This bit of grostesquery calls to mind last year's Hardee's Monster Thickburger, the 1400-calorie blob of gristle which inspired an ill-advised holiday eating contest between several of my siblings and/or their spouses. Held the morning that retired Green Bay Packer Reggie White died of a massive post-Christmas heart attack, our repellant act was documented here, complete with visual evidence. Evidently, my youngest brother -- the vegetarian who finished in second place (ahead of yours truly) -- has now produced a half-hour documentary film of the obscenity, soon to be broadcast across the internet like an underground snuff film.