More, please

Shorter Assrocket:

My president has assured me that the sandwich he gave me and which I am currently enjoying is not -- contrary to rumor -- a mound of shit stuffed into a hoagie roll. Rather, if my senses do not somehow deceive me, it appears to be a tasty turkey reuben on rye. Unlike some of my co-religionists, I believe my president and would prefer to continue nibbling at my lunch, for I am not yet full.